Friday, May 24, 2013

MY TEMPEST

The prompt for the following short story was "write about your first car."

MY TEMPEST

My father located and purchased my first car in my hometown of Sacramento in 1982.  I was 23 years old, living and working in Los Angeles. He paid $1100 for the car, which I was to repay in monthly $100 installments. He was afraid I might not like the 17-year-old automobile, but he knew that I needed a vehicle no matter what it looked like. 

I had been taking the bus to work from the ritzy Brentwood section of Los Angeles, winding along Sunset Blvd. through Westwood, along the edges of Bel Air and Holmby Hills, through Beverly Hills and past the Sunset Strip clubs, so swanky in the 50s, now frequented by safety-pin-pierced punk rockers... winding further and further east all the way into the heart of Hollywood and my job captioning TV for the deaf at Sunset Gower Studios.  The facility where I worked was a bit rundown at that point, but it had been the venerated Columbia Movie Studios back in its glory days.  

The morning wait and ride to my job were not bad, as the bus picked me up at a corner near my apartment in a prosperous part of town. The only other waiting passengers were tired-eyed Hispanic ladies who must have been heading home from jobs as night nurses and overnight nannies. The evening bus journey was not so safe or smooth... 
I needed a car.

I got a ride from Los Angeles to Sacramento with a friend, anxious to see this vehicle my father had bought - which would free me from the discomfort and danger of sitting after leaving work at a bus stop at the corner of Sunset and Gower... perched uneasily on the bus bench in the dark, alone in a seedy part of Hollywood, being approached and propositioned by strange and sometimes truly frightening men.  I HAD to have a car. 

My father’s fears about my reaction to the car were completely unfounded. I fell in love with it at first sight.  It was a 1965 Pontiac Tempest, a great, solid boat of a car... the front of the vehicle slanted forward, as if it could not wait to speed off.  The body was painted a fantastic aquamarine metallic fleck.  The hard top was bright white.  There was plentiful chrome trim, from the shining perforated hubcaps to the fabulous divided front grill. Heavy chrome bumpers front and back were clearly designed for protection, not just aesthetics.  This car looked retro COOL... and it was built like a tank, which turned out to be a very good thing. 

The interior of the car was also shiny aquamarine, from the paint on the metal dash to the vinyl padding on the doors to the brocade-like textured fabric on the seats.  The aquamarine steering wheel was enormous, and in the center was a clear plastic disc with black backing incised in silver with the Pontiac logo, an elongated indented arrowhead design... There were round Jetsons-like chrome bullet vents jutting from the dash. Everything glistened and gleamed... it was all in pristine condition.  The Tempest had only been driven to the grocery store and church by the original owner, a woman who was already elderly when she purchased it.  She must have felt safe, and maybe a little sassy in this huge, snazzy vehicle.  I hope so.  By the time the car came to me, she had passed away.  Her son sold it to my father as he was disposing of her effects. 

When I drove the Tempest around Los Angeles, other cars would often slow down, some would even honk.  Almost every time I pulled into a gas station the mechanics would come out to look at it.  They marveled at the spotless engine and the vehicle's incredible condition. They frequently offered to buy the car then and there.  Many people offered to buy my Tempest, but I always declined.  Thank God. 

Because one night when my 16-year-old sister Annie and her best friend Tena were down in L.A. to visit me and tour the UCLA campus, I agreed to take the two girls for a drive through Beverly Hills to look at movie star houses.  My friend and co-worker, Tim, came along.  He sat up front with me.  Annie sat behind me, with Tena behind Tim.  

The last thing I remember is sitting at the stop sign at the northwest corner of Sunset and Bedford, waiting to cross the busy road.  The next thing I remember is coming to in the Emergency Room at UCLA.  The Tempest, we later learned, had been broad-sided by two men joyriding without permission in their uncle’s Porsche.  Police accident scene investigators determined that they had been going 70 miles an hour and never hit their brakes.  They may not have had their headlights on.

Unlike my little sister Annie (the only one to miraculously escape injury in the crash) I do not remember the horrific sounds of the collision, I do not remember the blood, the wails of pain and terror, the sirens, the crowds of people who spilled out of the nearby mansions and cars along Sunset Blvd.  I do not recall how the police closed down Sunset Blvd. in both directions, because the Porsche had spun my huge solid metal tank of a car and thrown it across the grass median, where it landed on Sunset, facing the opposite direction, my drive shaft flung half a block down. I remember none of this.  I know these things happened only because of what I was later told by my passengers, what I read in police reports, private investigators’ findings, photographs.  

That Pontiac Tempest saved all of our lives, though my passengers and I were not unscathed.  Tena, my sister’s exquisitely beautiful best friend, had her jaw shattered and lost many teeth.  Now seems as good a time as any to mention that not only was Tena a girl I knew well and loved, having babysat her for many years when she was little, before I went away to college, but she was also my orthodontist’s daughter. Her father had straightened my teeth, and now his daughter was on a gurney in an emergency room far from home, bandaged so only her eyes showed, bruised and bloodied, in pain and afraid.  It was unspeakably awful.  

My friend Tim was one curtained bed over from Tena, and I was on his other side.  The doctors had shaved a sizable patch of Tim’s hair away in order to stitch up a large gash in his scalp. I had suffered an injury to my lower back and I had a concussion.  This physical trauma -- along with the horror of the accident scene -- had contributed to temporary hysterical amnesia.  I could not tell the doctors my name or where I was.  I knew I SHOULD know these things, and the panic at not being able to answer such simple questions just made things worse.  

I was agitated and terrified that my memory would not return.  I just kept repeating, “I’m disoriented, I’m disoriented.”  Apparently I had been doing this from the time of the accident on, trying everyone’s patience and adding to the tension of the scene.  The nurses were attempting to calm me, but it was only when Tim started to joke about his new shaved hairstyle in order to make me laugh that I began to settle down and to regain my wits to some degree so that little by little I could answer questions about who I was, where I lived, what day it was... but I could not tell the nurses or doctors what had transpired over the previous couple of hours. That never changed. The memory of the accident has never come back to me, and for that I am deeply grateful. 

The morning after the accident I was taken to a cousin’s house over Coldwater Canyon in Studio City... I needed to be observed to make sure that I didn’t fall asleep until the doctors could be certain that my concussion had improved.  I also could not keep my balance too well.  My lower back and my equilibrium were both faulty at that point.  After a couple of days, my cousin Shawn drove me to the wrecking yard to identify the remains of my beloved Tempest.  When I saw the twisted, mangled mass of steel that had been my car, I could not believe all four of us had survived. The enormity of what had transpired finally sank in. I sobbed for several minutes while Shawn rubbed my back. 

I took Polaroids for the attorneys of what was left of my poor old Tempest, and almost as an afterthought, I pried that plastic disc with the Pontiac logo off the middle of the enormous aqua blue steering wheel.  I still have it in my jewelry box, amidst my other valuables.  

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

SURF BREAK


SURF BREAK

I was awakened today well before the sun rose by the sound of laughter and voices coming from a spot not far away from my open bedroom window.  I wasn’t startled because this is not uncommon. I live on a bluff above a major surf break and there’s many a morning when intrepid wave riders -- carrying surfboards and wearing headlamps to light the way -- pick their way along the dark cliffside to the hidden path which will take them down to the beach.  It doesn’t annoy me to be roused from my sleep on these occasions.  It’s a privilege to live so close to the ocean which belongs to us all.  Once the sun comes up, I love watching these men and women catching wave after wave below my expansive living room windows.

I am not a surfer myself.  I would love to be, but I think it’s too late for me.  A left ankle badly broken at age 25 has left me with such severe arthritis in that joint at age 54 that the prospect of being able to quickly “pop up” into a standing position on a surfboard does not seem like a likely scenario for me.  I will stick to body surfing and boogie boarding -- and then only in the warmer summer months.  It’s January now and there are still dozens of surfers in the rather frigid Pacific winter waters below my windows on a daily basis. 

I try not to take where I live for granted.  Unfortunately, my children do.  It’s just what they are used to so I guess I can’t really fault them. They started coming here for vacations when they were very young and have lived permanently here at the beach since they were 9 and 5 years old.  Before that they grew up in the icy, sub-zero winters and humid, tornado-spawning summers of Minnesota.  I would have thought that they would want to spend every possible moment at the beach, as I had during my childhood vacations. I grew up in landlocked Sacramento and absolutely lived for the week or two when my family would take our summer vacation at the beach in Santa Cruz, California.  For my 5 siblings, my parents and me, the beach was pure heaven.  I spent every possible hour riding the waves with nothing but my little body.  No inner tubes, no boogies boards, nothing... just me and the waves.  My dad taught me to do this before I was even in kindergarten. Looking back on it as a parent now, I can understand why I made my mother so nervous.  I was just this little bit of a thing, being tossed around and ground into the sand by big waves... and I loved it. I was fearless.  It was good life training. 

My kids don’t dislike the beach, and they actually know how to surf.  Both my son and daughter took Surf P.E. at school and learned to ride the waves, but neither has a passion for it, which makes me a bit sad.  Their surfboards and wet suits lie unused in the garage.  I am thinking of donating them back to the school so kids with less advantages and more passion for the ocean might have the chance to learn to surf. You can’t force your kids to have the childhood you wish you could have had, nor should you... I learned that long ago. 

Not only are there surfers in our local waters, but we regularly see dolphins, and at this time of year, whales.  We spot them spouting as they surface on their way south to the warm Mexican waters of Baja California, where they will have babies... and then make their way later this Spring back to the frigid waters of Alaska.  And thus is has been for thousands of years.  Nature is an awe-inspiring thing.  

There’s still a bit of fog hanging in the air.  I can see it and feel it even though the sun is not yet up.  It’s a funny thing how, even over the roar of the waves, I can hear the laughter of the surfers down on the beach below the cliff.  I can’t see them, but I imagine  they are waxing up their boards and waiting for first light, which should be about to break any minute.  Soon I will be able to see them paddling out, catching wave after wave in the crisp morning air.  It’s going to be a good day, I can just tell. 

Saturday, October 6, 2012

The Royal "WE" - hahahahaha!

 

Boothby Coat of Arms from Debret's Peerage 

I have been missing in action from this blog because I have fallen down the Ancestry.com rabbit hole... I have been researching my family's roots, with an eye toward writing a substantial piece based around an idea I have... but of course, I have to complicate everything and come up with some big sprawling epic story so it may never come to fruition.  Still, it's fascinating to find out that my father was NOT telling one of his tall tales when he claimed that his side of the family descended from many kings and princes, going back to Charlemagne and beyond!  Yes, people, my blood is a very, very, very diluted shade of palest blue! Time to kiss my ring! HA!

 I find this somehow very amusing, as I have always claimed that I come from "sturdy peasant stock" - which for the most part, I am sure that I do.   Still, since one of my ancestors was Lord Chief Justice of all of England in the middle ages, and another was King of Leinster in Ireland, I have become obsessed with reading up on medieval England and Ireland... so that makes it hard to find time to post regularly on THIS blog. But maybe that's all for the best.  The whole point of setting this page up was to get me back to writing regularly... but every good writer has to do enormous amounts of reading - and that's what I have been doing. Maybe I will write some great historical novel.  At least doing all of this research will keep me some of my gray matter from completely atrophying.  And I have to say, it's really fun to find out where your family comes from!

It's amazing to live in the age of the internet - and Amazon.com Prime - so that much of the information I need is never more than a keystroke or a 2-day UPS delivery period away.  Still, I think I may just have to find a way to get myself over to the lands of my ancestors and do some digging around in older "source materials"... who knows what I may find? For now, I will have to content myself with my background reading, and there aren't enough hours in the day to read everything I have already dug up.  So back down the rabbit hole "we" go!

Ancient la Zouche coat of Arms - my ancestor Lucie de la Zouche had the bluest of blue blood...




Ashby la Zouche castle ruins


The coat of arms of the ancient de Greene family - from which I directly decend: 






Sunday, September 2, 2012

It's too beautiful...

IT'S TOO BEAUTIFUL TO SIT INDOORS WRITING

...so I have brought my laptop outside where I can feel the breeze, see the sunlight glinting off the ever-changing ocean, and hear the waves crashing.  The tide is in so there are no surfers in the water, but they will be back later this afternoon when conditions improve.  I have been reading voraciously and mulling over ideas I have for a long piece I would like to write... consequently, this little old blog has not been a priority, but since the weather gods are smiling, I think if I plop myself at this table under an umbrella, maybe I will have something worth posting.

... and just now my daughter has come out onto the deck to ask if I will come inside on this gorgeous day to watch a television show with her.  I sigh loudly inside, but I know better than to do so audibly.  Chloe is 14... and it's still something of a miracle that she asks me to join her in any kind of activity - so even tho' she is asking me to stop writing to go indoors into a darkened, air conditioned room on a spectacular sunny day, I am going to fold up this laptop and go.  I know my chances at closeness with my daughter are limited.  I won't squander a moment of these dwindling days of her need for me.  So ciao for now, my writing muse.  I trust you will return tomorrow... or at least the next time the fog rolls in.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

SAME SCENE, DIFFERENT ANGLE

More old stuff... written on location in Spain while I was there working on a film many years ago.  Back in the late 80s/early 90s, my beloved friend Carrie White -- celebrity hairdresser and now bestselling author (Upper Cut, the L.A. Times besteller!) -- used to host regular poetry readings at that dearly-departed, ultra cool hangout in West L.A., Lulu's Alibi.  I had the confidence of youth and thought I had something to say, so I often read my little bits o' verse at her poetry happenings.  Carrie always had themes for each week, and while I can't remember what the theme actually was for the week I read these two pieces, it could have easily been SAME SCENE, DIFFERENT ANGLE:

MELTDOWN
He treated her
as the womanchild she was
plying her with sweets
and grown-up conversation.
She was enchanted,
though aware it was fantasy,
adult eyes seeing clearly
that he would always return
home to another
despite his gypsy soul,
or perhaps because of it.
Still, tears streak her face,
make-up rivulets dribbling
like the illicit ice creams
down the side of her life.
The frustrations of a child,
the appetites of a woman...
She'd learned in kindergarten:
don't take what isn't yours.
 
      -- written in 1989


A GIRL LIKE YOU
A girl like you
should have a guitar
so men could serenade you
up close, not from afar

A girl like you
should have her own fleet
to conquer the world
and lay it at her feet

A guy like you
should go home to his wife
stop writing cliched poems
and face up to his life

A guy like you
should quit wasting time
on a girl like me
who knows all your lines
       
    -- written in 1989





Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Beanie Baby departs

                                                        Where's Waldo?  Where's that beanie headed?        


                                                                             MY BEANIE BABY DEPARTS

Tomorrow, my firstborn, my son Nick, will move out of his cluttered, pungent-smelling teenage boy bedroom and into his Freshman dorm room at USC.  I am trying to remain calm by keeping busy and not really letting the facts of this inevitable situation sink in yet.

I think pretty much every mother facing the departure of her first (and more frequently, it seems, ONLY) child goes through some pattern of emotional turmoil: recollecting the miraculous sensation of your child moving inside your belly, remembering the day the kid was born “like it was yesterday,” rifling through photos of his childhood -- either literally or mentally -- lamenting to anyone who will listen about how quickly the years have flown by... It’s helpful to commiserate with other parents facing the same scenario because nobody else really wants to hear your whining about how much you are going to miss your kid.

But, oh, how I am going to miss my kid, my Nick, my Beanie Baby. Anyone who knows Nick well will understand the “Beanie Baby” reference.  Up until very recently, Nick wore a red and black checked beanie everywhere, every day, all the time.  The SAME beanie... every day for over five years.  (See previous post “My Beanie Baby” for further background, if you care to... )  So even though the beanie is no longer ever-present, Nick will always be My Beanie Baby in my heart.

When you send a child off to college, you hope to hell that you have done your best to prepare him for the bigger world out there.  And you know you have not done enough.  At least I know I haven’t.  I have over-protected Nick and his sister Chloe. I have certainly over-indulged them (with a lot of help from my accomplice:  their dad, my husband Gary).  I have tried to give them the life I wish I could have had as a kid.  Some of it has been for the best, some of it has probably served to keep my kids unprepared for “the real world.”  But all that I did was done with an excess of love.  I gave up an exciting career and innumerable dear friends in Los Angeles to move to Minnesota for Gary’s new job when Nick was an infant, all in an effort to give my boy the best life possible... I have poured my heart into both of my kids and have probably put too much of my energy into them - to the point that I am not sure who I am without them... so subtracting Nick from the equation is going to throw my life off balance for a time, no question about it. 

It’s a parent’s job to raise kids and send them out into the world - but somehow when that time comes it’s still a shock.  I hope I have helped my son establish enough of a sense of himself for him to forge his own path... without screwing things up before he even gets out of college.  I barely held it together when I left my parents' nest and went off to UC Berkeley, too naive and unworldly to feel secure.  I immediately fell into a pattern of heavy drinking to mask my self-consciousness.  Nick is very much like me - so of course I worry.  I guess only time will tell... but it’s now up to Nick to succeed or fail on his own.  No Mom and Dad there to smooth his way or help him out of jams. I truly WANT him to move on to college and have an unforgettable, amazing time.  The hour has come for me to let him go - but he’ll be forever tethered to my soul.  I am not sure how ready I am for this transition, but I will do my best not to mortify him by falling apart when I finally walk out of his dorm room tomorrow.  I’ll report back on how that goes... 

My Beanie Baby


My Beanie Baby

It was bound to happen... somehow I thought it might be some drunken frat rat at USC who took my kid’s beanie after he started college this fall.  As it turns out, it was probably a fellow concert-goer at a Waaves show that took place at the Del Mar Fairgrounds right after the horse races a few weeks ago.  What’s the big deal about a hat?  Plenty... 

My “kid” Nick is 18 years old, 6’4” tall, toothpick thin, with a fantastic mane of tangled red-brown hair that flows down to his waist.  When he was in 7th grade, he took to wearing a little pork pie fedora.  At that point, Nick’s hair was not yet touching his shoulders.  He started to be harassed on the bus riding to and from middle school -- for daring to express his individuality, wearing a hat and growing his hair (“You look like a girl!  Are you a girl?” and other such BS that adolescent boys sometimes say to anyone who dares to be at all different).  Nick didn’t like being picked on, but he was determined not to give in to peer pressure.  He had fallen in love with rock music and wanted to look the part of the musician he aspired to be.  He had begun to take drum lessons in elementary school and it awakened a sense of purpose in him.  He kept going to his drum lessons and tried to ignore the bullies on the bus.  Then some kid whose name he didn’t even know slammed his head into a table at school and everything started to go south.  Nick kept the hat on, but he hid in his room, feigned illness, balked at riding the bus, said he hated school.  He was in a bad place. This is the age when parents know their kid's future is at stake.  If they check out emotionally, you may never get them back on the path to health and happiness.

My husband and I knew something had to give.  We had to find a safe haven for this kid.  We found an amazing little independent boho school (and I do mean little: 135 kids TOTAL enrollment, grades 6-12) which was willing to take him with only 7 weeks left in the school year.  I told the headmaster that I needed Nick to be somewhere that he could feel safe being himself, and I thought that if this school stuck to their dress code and told Nick he could not wear his hat, that might be a deal breaker.  This kind man made an exception for my struggling son - the hat stayed... and so did Nick.

Over the summer before 8th grade started, Nick came upon a red and black buffalo plaid Billabong knit beanie at a surf shop near our home.  He decided this would be the basis of his new image.  He donned that beanie and never looked back.  It became his signature, his trademark.  He never took it off.  When I realized I would from time to time have to wash it while he slept, I decided to see if I could buy some back-up beanies, just in case - God forbid - something happened to Nick’s favored hat.  The surf shop had only one more of that same beanie left, so I bought that, then went online.  I had some vague inkling that this beanie was so central to Nick’s self-image that having extras might come in handy some day... I supposed that maybe I would stage a photo with a bunch of his friends all wearing the cap, something like that.  I just thought it would be a good idea to get more.  So I bought 10.  We now had a round dozen... that should be enough!

But as time went on, it became clear that none of the “back-up beanies” would ever be worn.  Nick attached some sort of magical powers to that original beanie.  It had been with him to some of the most important events in his life:  The Led Zeppelin reunion at the O2 in London, our 2-week family trip to Italy, 3 years at Grammy Camp, and covering the red carpet as the official Grammy teen reporter at the 2010 Grammy Awards... (backstage in the pressroom, Grammy host Stephen Colbert called on Nick with: "You, in the hat"!)  He was invited to be motion captured for one of the Guitar Hero games - and there’s his avatar, sporting the beanie. Nick drummed onstage at the El Rey theater in L.A. during a Grammy Camp showcase, and met countless famous musicians he admired, all while wearing his beanie. (Lucky kid had a dad in the business and got to see lots of shows from side stage). Nick became recognized by many of the rockstars he idolized as “the kid in the beanie” even if they didn’t know his name. 

As the years went on, Nick seemed to think that the hat carried some kind of karma... it was the keeper of his most treasured memories.  The more frayed and faded and snagged the cap got, the more Nick loved it.  This beanie had lived life with him. It was his lucky charm and his signature piece. It was both baby blankie and talisman. He could not leave the house unless that damn hat was on his head, and many mornings were spent with me yelling that it was time to leave for carpool while he raced around tearing apart his bedroom, looking for the beanie.  Once he had it on, all was right in the world.

And now the beanie is gone... whether it was actually snatched off Nick’s head or accidentally brushed off by another moshing teen, it doesn’t really matter.  Nick and his buddies looked on the ground and on other heads for it, but it was nowhere to be found.   They filed a late-night report at the fairgrounds Lost and Found, describing the beanie in detail -- sweetly naive to think someone would turn in a stretched out, discolored, unraveling hat. There are plenty of fans of his bands here in San Diego who might have wanted a keepsake of the wild-haired drummer -- maybe one of them was at that Waaves concert and took it for themselves.  Who knows? My belief is that the beanie either made its way into some knowing kid’s pocket or into the garbage after being found on the ground by the clean-up crew. 

Nick’s been mourning the loss of his “old friend” a bit, but he’s also been surprisingly OK... donning a new, never-worn duplicate beanie that was stored away in a drawer, as well as other hats here and there, but he’s also been going out bare-headed, with no cranial “armor” to speak of.  He’s becoming more and more OK with the idea of simply being NICK, not just the kid in the beanie.  Just in time for college... I guess it was time for a change.